TalesFromRetail: I am a wizard.

So, this story happened 3-4 years ago, but I completely forgot about it until recently.

I used to work in the paint department of a big box hardware store. It was a really slow day, and I had already finished most of the stuff I had to do for the day, from what I remember, there was some pretty heavy snow, and people were pretty much just traveling for emergency needs, and there’s no such thing as a paint emergency. So, anyway, this guy wanders by my department, and he doesn’t seem to be all there. He gets about halfway past my desk, and he stops, and stares at The paint swatches. He comes closer to them, and starts inspecting them, like, really closely. I just think “whatever, guy might either just like color, or wants to get a good one.” We try not to bother people during the color selection process, since that’s all personal preference.

So, this guy is there for almost an hour, going from color collection to color collection, and he has his phone out, and appears to be taking notes, but doesn’t take any swatches off the wall, which is weird, but, again, I’ve seen weirder. Then he heads back to where we keep the unmixed paint (side note: if you’re buying paint, don’t grab the can for the employee, it might be a different one than what you grabbed, and then we have to put it back. I get the idea, but please, we don’t even know what it will be sometimes, we just have a guess, and then the computer tells us).

He comes up to me after about half an hour and he asks me “hey, man. Those boxes up in the high shelves, do they have more paint in them?”

Me: Yes.

Him: How many are in there?

Me: Four gallons to a box.

Him: oh, alright.

And then he goes back to the paint.

I could tell he was high by the way he was talking, very slowly, incredibly delayed reactions, and his eyes were super red. Why he came here high during a blizzard was, and still is, a mystery. But I finally realized what he was doing. He was counting the number of colors, and how many paint cans we have.

He came back up after another fifteen minutes.

Him: Hey, so… There are way more colors than there are paint cans. What happens if someone wants a color that you don’t have?

Me: Well, I make the colors.

Him (in all seriousness): Are you a wizard!?

Me: … Yes…

Him: Don’t worry, color wizard, your secret is safe with me.

He then wandered off, never to be seen again. I still have many questions, none of which will ever be answered, but at least I was blessed by the high color counter.

By: PuddlesRex