TalesFromRetail: We sell dead fish.

I work at a fish mongers. This story happened a while ago, something reminded me of it.

The boring details: The name is [name] seafoods (relevant). All out phone calls are directed to wholesale staff (as that’s what most calls are about), and retail enquires that they can’t answer get redirected back to us in the shop. They answer the phone with “hello [name] seafoods”.

The interesting part: I’m in the shop, waiting for some customers when some one from wholesale comes down and let’s us know we have a customer enquiry, about something. She has no idea what and has spent the past 5 minutes trying to work it out, so can we take the phone call and see if we have any better luck.

The phone call between the customer ©, and me (M):

M: “hello, how can I help today?”

C: “yes, do you have any [word I can’t quite make out]

The word I can’t hear, kind of sounds like "off cuts”. So I assume that’s what C is talking about. We sell the trimmings of some of the larger fish fillets, and sell them as off cuts, they are quite popular

M: “Offcuts? We have some, it’s $x per kilo”

C: “No, [word that really sounds like offcuts]”

At this point, I am really scratching me head. I am thinking what is this lady smoking. Which made me think of my stoner friend who had an oscar fish that jumped out of it’s tank recently.

M: “wait, are you after oscar fish? As in pet fish?”

C: “yes, yes, that is what after”

M: “We are a seafood shop, not an aquarium shop”

C: “So you don’t sell fish at all?”

M “We do, just not the kinds you are after. We sell seafood, fish you eat, not fish for pets”

C: “So what kind of fish do you sell?”

Uh, didn’t I just explain that?

M: “We sell dead fish, for eating”.

C: “Oh, would your other shop have any?”

By: KillerSeagull