One of my coworkers works in a funeral home as his day job. He brings tons of pens with the logo of his funeral home on them, and I’ve accumulated a fair few by being a rotten pen thief.
Now whenever someone is an asshole to me, especially grumpy old people, I give them the funeral home pens to sign their receipts. So far no one has called me out on it yet.
On a more cheerful note, I think I’m going to give him like ten bucks for a box of them come October and exclusively use them all month.