Regular day working in my DIY store.
A colleague of mine is helping two ladies out with decking stain and varnish.
He goes around to the next aisle with one of the ladies and the other starts talking to me about yacht varnish. She already has a tin of it by a brand called Bondex. She’ll be Senile Woman (SW) and I’ll be Me.
SW: I’ve been looking and I can’t find this holds up varnish tin
Me: Sorry, we don’t actually stock that.
SW: Yes you do, I bought it here two days ago.
Me: We definitely don’t stock it. These are the only products by Bondex we do stock. – pointing to wood stain on the bottom shelf –
SW: What are you f’cking talking about? I just said I bought it here two days ago. My daughter, Celine just drove me up here to buy it. I can’t believe the incompetence!
Me: I’m sorry, but these are the only products we sell by that brand. This is my section, so I’m sure of it.
SW: WELL! You know what? I bought it here. I’ll go home and get my bank statement and bring it up to you. You won’t be so smug then will you. Stupid little girl.
–For the hell of it, I’m 26 – nearly 27, and aware that most customers automatically think I’m younger than I am, hear me talking older than they think, and instantly want to put me in my place.–
Me: Ok. Do that. But we still don’t sell it here. Only the wood stains. I’ve other yacht varnishes from two different brands if you’d like to take a look at those?
SW: Don’t act so smug little girl. I’ll be back.
So she storms off with the other lady. Nearly two hours pass and in walks SW with a younger girl, who we’ll call Rational Daughter (RD).
RD: Hi, are you [insert my name]?
Me: Hi, yes. Can I help you with anything?
RD: I just wanted to swing by and apologise for my Mam. We bought that varnish in [competitors name] two days ago. Sorry for any issues.
And she leaves with her mother pulling the most sheepish look I’ve ever seen.
Sometimes we win, guys.
TL;DR: Lady threatens me with bank statement, and loses.
Edit – if no one gets that title reference, I’ll cry.